like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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