His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
