Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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