She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize