I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
