We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
