I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
