i wish peter jackson would direct porn
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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