im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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