STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
