im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
