I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
