Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
