I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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