Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
