Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
