just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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