Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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