Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
