i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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