all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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