Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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