i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
