Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
