I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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