who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She bit a glass in half.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
