we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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