Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
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