i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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