Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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