You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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