I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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