did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
