Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
