I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
