Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I think pants incapable of making pants work
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
