Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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