I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
