and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
