I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
