This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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