Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
so much tequila, so little girl.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I said "one day" and that day is not today
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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