think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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