Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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