you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
