Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize