Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
