Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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