If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
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