I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
