i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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