She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i would punch a child for taco bell
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
