yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize