There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
