you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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