I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Dicks are not precious.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
