I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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