Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
