i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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