no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize