if i can run in heels then i can drive
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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