We should be called the Road Head Warriors
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
