Your mouth is God's brothel.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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